Archive for the ‘websites’ Category

You are spammer number 1,000 congratulations

Wednesday, August 11th, 2010

This post was originally scheduled for Tue 15th but it seems to be raining spam out there in internet land.

By my estimates, today will see our 1,000th spam comment on this glorious website, so I thought I’d share a few words to mark the occasion…

Ahem…

Kindly f*ck off!

Sorry folks, I have very short patience for even commercial advertising, but comment spam is possibly the most annoying thing I’ve ever encountered (except Quentin Tarantino of course). So I want to finally set the record straight…

I don’t want to rent SEO services from a company who don’t have real email addresses, I don’t want to buy cheap pharmaceuticals online, I’m quite happy with the size of my penis, the quotes from books would be marginally interesting if I didn’t get each one three times, I’m not interested in seeing 40 links to spammy and virus infested sites, I don’t want to confirm my bank account details with you, I can’t help you transfer international funds, I don’t want a job receiving money, I’m not going to email you for pictures of naked celebrities and that massive post in Russian doesn’t even make sense in Russian.

… phew, did I miss anyone? Oh well.

I wonder if spammers get this much spam.

Google Docs – Features that didn’t make it.

Tuesday, June 15th, 2010

Google Doc M.D. LogoYou probably already know, dear reader, all about Google Docs – the free online office software suite complete with loads of free online storage, document versioning and all that cool stuff. But did you know about the other google docs that never made it to public beta? Introducing the long lost cousin; Google Doc M.D. …

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Add a twitter feed to your site using jQuery

Sunday, May 16th, 2010

Here’s a some simple java script to include a twitter feed for a particular user’s timeline into a web page. It assumes you’ve got jQuery (version  1.2 or higher) already installed.

function showTweets (data) {
  $('#feed').empty();
  for (var tweet in data) {
    $('#feed').append('<p>'+data[tweet].text+'</p>');
  }
}

$( function () {
  var user = 'TWITTER_USERNAME'; //the twitter user name of the person who's tweets you want to include
  var no_tweets = 10; //the number of tweets to fetch
  $.getScript("http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/"+user+".json?count="+no_tweets+"&callback=showTweets")
})
I’ve also added a div with the id “feed” in my html to contain the tweets like this:
<div id="feed">
<p>Loading Tweets...</p>
</div>
The callback function showTweets empties this div before filling it with the 10 most recent tweets, so that “Loading Tweets…” message vanishes once the script has done its work.
Simple but effective no? Well I though it was pretty clever.
Note that the jQuery getScript() method can fetch javascript across domains since jQuery version 1.2.

Wii Sports Spectator

Monday, March 15th, 2010

Drink Wii adapter (Patent Pending)

Beloved reader, I am thrilled to announce the release of an all new and ground breaking computer game for the Nintendo Wii console. Building on the success and popularity of Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort, the new title Wii Sports Spectator (also available as Wii Sports Fan in the USA) is a new relaxed gaming experience that will see the end of Wii Sports related injuries.

Say goodbye to Wii Tennis Elbow and Wii Golf Back and Shoulder Strain and sit back, relax and enjoy watching your own Wii Sports Tournament.

The game comes with the new and exclusive Drink Wii adapter that allows your Mii character to knock back a few brews in time with your drinking in the real world.

For more information on Wii Sports Spectator, check out this page in our so-called online shop:
http://www.planet-nifty.co.uk/store/wii-sports-spectator-uk/

Smilin’ Countdown…

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

I’ve added a Smilin’ Countdown timer to the right hand bar of my blog here. It’s got a rough countdown to when I should be all done with these Invisalign Aligners.

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