The astonishing true story of how an orphaned boy, sent to boarding school, recedes into an inner world where he imagines himself as a famous wizard winning dangerous magical tournament and getting the girls while, in reality he is bullied and tormented by his classmates and exiled from most levels of social interaction among his peers. Young Mr potter finally comes to find friendship in the unlikely form of a life-size teddybear of a ginger child, normally used for stress-relief ginger boxing, that he names “Ronny”.

Harry and Ronny have many wonderful adventures until, in an argument about who gets to win the chamberpot, playfully dubbed the cup of wiz, one evening. Ronny brutally beats Harry and forces him to drink from the cup of wiz. As a last act of retaliation against his cuddly opressor, Harry ties Ronny up while he sleeps and sets fire to the bed, accidentally burning the school down in the process and killing two students and five faculty members.

Harry is finally imprisoned for his crimes in Azerbaijan prison where he is regularly beaten and raped by an old lifer named ‘Big Ron’ proving once and for all the existence of god.
What a relief.

Format: Doovde

Region: Blueberry (Do you remember when it mattered what region DVD you bought?)

I simply must try harder to perceive people as more than just mathematically predictable meat sacks. But they are very crunchy… And strangely moreish. But I don’t think I could eat more than, maybe three.

By my estimates, today will see our 1,000th spam comment on this glorious website, so I thought I’d share a few words to mark the occasion…

Ahem…

Kindly f*ck off!

Sorry folks, I have very short patience for even commercial advertising, but comment spam is possibly the most annoying thing I’ve ever encountered (except Quentin Tarantino of course). So I want to finally set the record straight…

I don’t want to rent SEO services from a company who don’t have real email addresses, I don’t want to buy cheap pharmaceuticals online, I’m quite happy with the size of my penis, the quotes from books would be marginally interesting if I didn’t get each one three times, I’m not interested in seeing 40 links to spammy and virus infested sites, I don’t want to confirm my bank account details with you, I can’t help you transfer international funds, I don’t want a job receiving money, I’m not going to email you for pictures of naked celebrities and that massive post in Russian doesn’t even make sense in Russian.

… phew, did I miss anyone? Oh well.

I wonder if spammers get this much spam.

His and hers is a marketing term to describe a product in two variations each lacking in practical merit by itself, but illustrated as being useful for a specific gender in comparison to the other.

For example, his and hers toilet paper;

‘his toilet paper’ is inexplicably large – too large to fit on a toilet roll holder – and the single sheet paper is so thin, you need to fold it into four to make any reasonable use of it.  Its key selling point is that each roll is long enough to wrap around Manhattan.

Meanwhile, ‘her toilet paper’ is triple ply with scented notions and embossed with pretty patterns so deeply that one roll is likely to last for only 1.3 sittings but promises to feel like wiping yourself with a soft fluffy puppy… nice.

Regrettably his and hers products are surprisingly successful thanks to advertising campaigns that offer the illusion of choice. Eg. “his and hers toilet paper. Which one will you choose.” Which of course implies that you would choose either of them.

The Breakfast of Champions – a term originally used to describe any potentially nutritious breakfast cereal endorsed by a sporting hero, is now used to describe a completely ridiculous breakfast containing at least 2000 calories and boasting no nutritional value.

For example, ricycles and doughnuts cereal.

Dee-lish!

My iPhone is off to be recycled somewhere, may it rest in pieces.

Far from being an office software replacement, the first revision of Google Docs, was actually referred to as Google Doc. M.D. and was a comprehensive medical diagnosis search engine. Google Docs M.D. was capable of collecting symptoms and providing non-conclusive diagnoses for thousands of common and rare medical conditions and even provide tutorials for practical and easy to do diagnostic tests that could be performed in non-laboratory conditions to narrow down and even prove your diagnoses without expensive medical or laboratory tests.

Google Doc M.D. Search Results

Google Doc M.D. was already capable of diagnosing a large variety of conditions and provide useful advice on dealing with medical problems. Sadly the project was scrapped before the public Beta because there were too many concerns raised about the validity of a the medical opinion generated by Googles proprietary search algorithm. While every attempt was made to supply a reasonable disclaimer about medical advice from a computer in the end, the lawyers won and Google Doc M.D. was scrapped and the resources pushed towards making an online office suite of a similar name.

function showTweets (data) {
  $('#feed').empty();
  for (var tweet in data) {
    $('#feed').append('<p>'+data[tweet].text+'</p>');
  }
}

$( function () {
  var user = 'TWITTER_USERNAME'; //the twitter user name of the person who's tweets you want to include
  var no_tweets = 10; //the number of tweets to fetch
  $.getScript("http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/"+user+".json?count="+no_tweets+"&callback=showTweets")
})

<div id="feed">
<p>Loading Tweets...</p>
</div>

Although I had configured my network interfaces and DNS servers I couldn’t connect to the internet. Specifically I couldn’t resolve hostnames like planet-nifty.co.uk and google.com. I could ping IP addresses inside my home network and IP addresses on the internet too, but pinging domain names like russwilde.com and I would get an error that the domain name couldn’t be resolved.

I must prefix this post with the confession that I know very little about Linux except what I’ve learned while playing around. If you’re playing around like me, be sure you’re well acquainted with the online support facilities – there’s a wealth of information in there.

I must also confess that most of the problems I encountered were created by me not knowing what I was doing.

Step 1: Configure the network interfaces.

My server has two network devices; a wired ethernet card eth0 and a wireless network (Wi-Fi) device wlan0. Both are configured with static IP addresses, although the ethernet device was originally configured via DHCP.

The first problem turned out to be that, in my /etc/network/interfaces file, I had defined a gateway in each interface:

# The loopback network interface
auto lo
iface lo inet loopback
# Cabled network interface
auto eth0
iface eth0 inet static
address 192.168.1.10
netmask 255.255.255.0
network 192.168.1.0
broadcast 192.168.1.255
gateway 192.168.1.1

# WiFi device
auto wlan0
iface wlan0 inet static
address 192.168.1.12
netmask 255.255.255.0
network 192.168.1.0
broadcast 192.168.1.255
gateway 192.168.1.1 #<-- REMOVE THIS DUPLICATE LINE
wireless-essid monolith
pre-up wpa_supplicant -B -Dwext -iwlan0 -c /etc/wpa_supplicant.conf
post-down killall -q wpa_supplicant

It made sense to me that the gateway should be configured for both connections, but removing one of these was eventually the solution, which probably means the additional gateway and network definitions in wlan0 could be removed too. Once I removed the second gateway definition in wlan0 things started to work.

The second problem turned out to be that I , foolishly had defined four DNS servers in my /etc/resolv.conf , which also was wrong:

nameserver 208.67.222.222
nameserver 208.67.220.220
nameserver AAA.BB.CCC.DDD #My ISP Primary Name Server
nameserver AAA.BB.CCC.DDD #My ISP Secondary NameServer <-- REMOVE -- You can only have three

Incidentally, if you’re wondering about the wpa_supplicant business, or if you’re having problems setting up your wifi through the terminal. I followed a handy tutorial on mini-itx.com to setup my wireless network connection. It was written for XBMC, but works equally well for Ubuntu.

So there you go, hopefully this will help someone who, like me doesn’t know what they’re doing.

Drink Wii adapter (Patent Pending)

Beloved reader, I am thrilled to announce the release of an all new and ground breaking computer game for the Nintendo Wii console. Building on the success and popularity of Wii Sports and Wii Sports Resort, the new title Wii Sports Spectator (also available as Wii Sports Fan in the USA) is a new relaxed gaming experience that will see the end of Wii Sports related injuries.

Say goodbye to Wii Tennis Elbow and Wii Golf Back and Shoulder Strain and sit back, relax and enjoy watching your own Wii Sports Tournament.

The game comes with the new and exclusive Drink Wii adapter that allows your Mii character to knock back a few brews in time with your drinking in the real world.

For more information on Wii Sports Spectator, check out this page in our so-called online shop:
http://www.planet-nifty.co.uk/store/wii-sports-spectator-uk/